I am someone who likes a big ole clunker. ![]() I have to say, I aligned most with Adler’s ugly flatform shoe philosophy. They also hide my unpedicured feet.” Seems like Adler isn’t the only one opting for the fashion Crocs: Currently, most of the colors, which range from sherbet orange to classic black, are all sold out except for size 5 and 11. The platform Croc is the sort of perfect hybrid between functional and fashion, and I can actually walk a few miles in them. Adler told me that she loves an ugly flatform shoe, “but all I have are deeply impractical for right now. But it’s not just any Croc, this one comes with a 2.4-inch platform and is titled the Women’s Crocs Classic Bae Clog. As a solution, she bought a party-in-the-back, business-in-the-front shoe: a Croc. Why show your own feet when you can just wear someone else’s pretty feet? Seems like a good idea to me.įurther on my quest, I spoke with Vogue’s visual director Samantha Adler, who is going through the same phalangeal crisis. Those babies are cotton, crocheted, and have the images of very cute feet on them, toe rings included. ![]() “I just hope they don’t give me weird tan lines!” Another tongue-in-cheek iteration on the full-coverage shoe could be Loewe’s toe shoes. “After wearing heavy loafers all winter and into spring, I wanted something that would give me that familiar silhouette but in a lighter, summery version,” she says. And while leather can seem like a sweaty mistake, Fass’s version includes cutouts for, yes, that breathability factor. She prefers full coverage for her feet, including the backs too. Vogue market editor Madeline Fass had some ideas about summer footwear that covers the toes. What’s a girl with divorced-dad feet to do but ask her colleagues for help sourcing shoes for people who don’t want to show their toes. My little piggies need to be shrouded and far from human eyes, but I don’t want to live in suffocating footwear anymore. Who wants to slosh around in sweaty sneakers all day? Yet, I can’t wear sandals and harass people with a hostile digit. (And before you ask, yes I’ve tried and tried to tame them myself, but these suckers need professional help.) Now, the weather is getting hotter and my feet need to breathe. Sometimes my feet can be saved by a pedicure, though amid COVID-19 I won’t be getting them done anytime soon. In short, my toes are the spawn of Satan and no one should see them. I once had a Ukrainian pedicurist go at my heels with an electrical sander. Due to running, I’m missing toenails, while others are compacted like a crepe cake. ![]() The toes have a foul gangly curl, in the shape of Quasimodo’s hunched back. Photographed by Arthur Elgort, Vogue, April 1993
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